Skiing Through Life: How Jacqui Turned Challenges into Opportunities - Life Bursts Episode 54

In this heart-warming episode of Life Bursts, hosts Sarah and Matt sit down with Jacqui, a mother of four and former teacher, to discuss her life journey from childhood to parenthood. Jacqui's story is one of faith, adventure, and embracing life's unexpected turns.

Jacqui grew up in South Australia, developing a love for skiing at a young age. Her passion for working with youth led her to become a high school teacher, specializing in physical education and mathematics. Along the way, she met her husband Chris, and together they've built a family of six while navigating career changes and moves across the country.

Key Moments:

1. First ski trip: "When I was in year six, my dad took my sister and I snow skiing for the first time... we both really loved that."

2. Meeting her husband: "The first night I moved to Naracoorte, which I didn't even really know if I wanted to go to, I met Chris when I first moved there."

3. Working as a ski instructor: "We were able to move over to Mount Hotham and we lived in Dinner Plain up there. And I worked as a ski instructor, which was a goal of mine."

4. Parenting advice: "Every child gets to have 10 minutes of quality time with each parent every day and they get to choose what the activity is that we do together."

5. Faith perspective: "I believe that God sent Jesus his son to earth so that we can know him and so that he could die on the cross to save us from our sins, so that we can come into relationship with God."

FAQ:

Question: How did Jacqui balance her teaching career with raising four children?
Answer: Jacqui took time off when her children were born and has since done contract and relief teaching. She emphasizes the importance of self-care, including regular exercise and relaxation time.

Question: What parenting techniques does Jacqui find most effective?
Answer: Jacqui recommends implementing daily "quality time" with each child, where the child chooses an activity to do one-on-one with a parent for 10 minutes.

Question: How does faith play a role in Jacqui's life?
Answer: Faith is central to Jacqui's life. She believes in God's plan for her family and participates in Bible study groups for spiritual growth and community support.

Throughout the interview, Jacqui's positivity and adaptability shine through. From her early days on the ski slopes to managing a bustling household of six, she's approached life's challenges with grace and determination. Her story serves as an inspiration for those navigating the complexities of balancing career, family, and personal passions.

Jacqui's advice to seize opportunities and face fears head-on resonates strongly. As she puts it, "When opportunities come that you might be afraid to do, don't say no just because you're afraid." This mindset has led her to rich experiences and personal growth throughout her life.

For parents listening, Jacqui offers practical tips on maintaining individual relationships with each child and involving them in household responsibilities. Her emphasis on open communication and quality time provides a blueprint for nurturing strong family bonds.

Jacqui's journey reminds us of the importance of embracing life's adventures, staying true to our passions, and leaning on faith and community for support. Her story is a testament to the joy and fulfillment that can come from a life lived with purpose and love.

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Transcript

**Sarah Freeman:**

Welcome to Life Bursts. I'm Sarah.
**Matthew Carratt:**

And I'm Matt. And today, a mother, a teacher, a lover of snow, and so much more. Stay tuned.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Welcome to Life Bursts with Sarah and Matt. And today we are interviewing the wonderful Jacqui. Thank you for taking the time to be with us today.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

All right, thank you.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Now, we'll start you off with the same question that we ask all of our guests, which is, where did life start out for you?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Okay, so I was born in Naracoorte, which is in the southeast of South Australia. And then my sister came along a few years later, Nikki. And we lived there till I was three, and then my parents separated and we moved. My sister, my mum and I moved to Adelaide because we had family in Adelaide, so we found a house there when I turned five, and my mum's still living in that house to this day.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Do you remember much of those early years with your sister, Nikki?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, yeah, I remember climbing lots of trees and playing with our toys and probably fighting a lot as well, but as siblings do.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. Did you have. Were you living in the township or did you have a bit of property to explore around Naracoorte?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

No, just in the town. Yep. My dad was a doctor there, and so we lived near the hospital, which was good. And then, yeah, it was interesting because when I got my first teaching job, it was in Naracoorte. I'd only been back once since I was three. And then I got went back there when I was in my 20s, early 20s, and started my first job there, which I really enjoyed. So, yeah, it's funny how things go around.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yeah. Was it hard leaving Naracoorte and moving to the city?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Well, I was only three when I first moved to the city, so I don't really remember. I'm sure it would have been hard for my mom, but, yeah, it was fine for me.
**Sarah Freeman:**

What's like your earliest memory that you have from your life that you can think of?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Oh, yeah. I think it was climbing trees. I've got. And Mum's taking photos of me up in the tree in our front yard, which I was probably only four or five. And I climbed to the top of the house and was throwing the balls down and Mum didn't know where I was.
**Sarah Freeman:**

So you've got all these balls stuck on the roof of the house.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, I was just trying to help getting them backed out again.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. So as you settled in Adelaide, you went to school. How was schooling for you?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, yeah, great. I. Well, primary school wasn't so good. I got bullied a bit when I was in primary school. But once I got to high school, I made some really good friends and had really good teachers and did really well at high school. So. Yeah, and I mean, it was difficult in primary school because I didn't have a good group of friends. But looking back on it now, I can see that that sort of helped me to grow into a better person and have learned to understand how other people are feeling and to think about other people more.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yeah. If there are any children watching this right now that might be in primary school that are being bullied, what would you say to them right now?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Well, I'd certainly say talk to someone about it. So talk to your teacher or your parents. I don't think I talked about it enough. And yeah, look for other opportunities to be friends with different people as well. If some people aren't being very nice, try and find some other people that are, but certainly ask for help.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Mm. Mm. Wise words.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah, ask for help. And growing up outside of school, were you into sport or were there particular hobbies? What kept you busy?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, I was. I played netball and volleyball and when I was in year six, my dad took my sister and I snow skiing for the first time.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Okay.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So we did that for a few years in a row and we both really loved that. So, yeah, we're really lucky. We could go over to Mount Hotham and Falls Creek and learn how to ski when we were quite young.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay, how do you learn how to ski? Talk us through how you. Pretty easy.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

It's pretty easy when you're young, but when I was teaching, I took a year off and, well, a term off, and I went and worked as a ski instructor. So I can teach people how to ski. But, yeah, it's certainly harder when you're older but still worth. Worth giving a go. It's a lot of fun and just a beautiful place to be in when the weather's reasonable. Yes.
**Matthew Carratt:**

So you as a child then taking that up, that came pretty easily to you both learning to ski?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, definitely. Yep. It didn't take us long before we were going straight down the mountain, fast as we could for me especially.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Sure. Did that become a regular holiday adventure then, to actually take your winters and go to the snow?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah. My dad always enjoyed skiing and he took us most years from then on, which was very cool. I went with the school once and none of my other friends knew how to ski, so I was helping them a lot as well when I was in year 11, which was good fun.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay. So for somebody like myself who has never skied before, how would I go about. Just like, picture this. Okay. Because there's people that listening to this as well. Okay. On radio, on a podcast and stuff. So how would you teach someone like me how to ski for the first time? Like, the real basics, like how to stand up, you know, do all the stuff you.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, yeah. Learn how to put the boots on and then. Which is hard work in itself. And then put the skis on and you go up a small slope, usually on a carpet to start with. And then you come down in, what, like a triangle? So you come down nice and slow to start with and. Yeah, you just build it up from there. Most people can pick it up within a day and can be going on a small run on their first day. Some people who are a bit older and not as fit would take or three days, but they were. They always got there and they always really enjoyed it. So, yeah, it was. It was a good experience to be able to work with, with people up on the mountain and teach them how to ski and. Yeah, just give them that experience.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Did you, being in Adelaide, did you make use of the indoor ski slope during the other months to get your skills to keep.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, I did, yes. My mum and my auntie used to take me and my sister there, and that's actually where we first learned how to ski. That was really helpful, actually. I loved it there. It's sad that we can't ski there anymore because, yeah, I definitely take my kids there. Even just to learn how to put your skis on and go down a small slope, was it made learning to ski a lot. A lot quicker? Actually, yeah.
**Matthew Carratt:**

So back to, back to your high school. So you had. Had. You went through that. You said that was easier than primary school in some ways. Did you have some kind of hopes of what you'd like to do as you went through that and were looking to finish year 12?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

No, not really. I sort of always felt like people were putting the pressure on. I needed to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life while I was at high school so that I could be prepared and get the right job and go to the right Uni and. But it took me a long time to work it out, and I still sort of feel like I'm working it out as I go in some ways. And so I just took it one step at a time. I, you know, did the best I could in all of my classes, did the classes that I enjoyed. And then. And then I actually, when I finished year 12, I got into a Course. But I took a year off and my dad had organized for me to do a Rotary exchange to Switzerland for a year. Okay. So, yeah, I got to go over to Switzerland and do high school there for a year and learn to speak German and go skiing and travel around Europe and go skiing.
**Sarah Freeman:**

I wonder why you go there.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Exactly. Yes. That was the reason I went there. That was great.
**Sarah Freeman:**

What is a Rotary exchange? What is that?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So the Rotary groups in Australia and all around the world support young people to. They help organize accommodation. So I live with three different families that were connected to the Rotary group, and they organize the schools and the travel and everything, basically. And there's other exchange students from all over the world that we catch up with and meet up with and go on trips with. So they. And then. Yeah, so that's basically how it works.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Great. Well, I'd love to hear more.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So they'll look after you.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah, I'd love to hear more about that trip. So we'll hear more from Vicki and her story right after this on Life Bursts.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Welcome back to Life Bursts with Matt and Sarah. And today we are chatting with Jacqui, who is sharing her story with us. So we're just talking about how she conveniently went on a Rotary exchange to a place where they go skiing, which is something that she really loves doing. So tell us more about that exchange that you went on and about all the skiing that you did.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, well, yeah, so I went to high school while I was there, which was rather difficult because I had never learned speak any German before I moved there. But thankfully I'd finished school here. So it didn't. It wasn't counted for anything, but it was a good way of getting to know other people my age. So I made some really good friends that I'm still friends with even now. And that was in 2003 or 2004. And yeah, so that was a great way to get to know people. But yeah, also through the Rotary group, they. They took us skiing and they took us to lots of different places, visited different places in Switzerland. They gave me a train pass, which meant that I could travel all around Switzerland without having to pay for anything on the trains. So, yeah, it was amazing. I got to see all of Switzerland while I was there for the year. So, yeah, it was an amazing experience. It was very challenging as well. Obviously not knowing the language and trying to learn that and trying to get to know new people and leaving home and all of my family for a whole year. But it was. It was a very good opportunity to learn. Learn A lot and to grow a lot and yeah, to get out and be who I was and yeah, make lots of really, really good memories. And yeah, I've still got friends that I keep in contact with and we send birthday presents and Christmas presents to each other and we send messages when we can get the timing right with the time difference. But yeah, so it's pretty amazing. And I've been back to visit them twice. Once with my dad and once with my husband and my son when he was a baby. I was able to take them back and show them all the amazing places that I've been to and meet all of my friends over there. So, yeah, it was life changing, really.
**Matthew Carratt:**

So you'd recommend the experience for students looking to do something like a gap year or 100%.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

If you get the opportunity, don't turn it up. It's hard work and it's scary, but it's well and truly worth it all. Yeah, definitely.
**Matthew Carratt:**

How did that change you coming back? Did you have different perspectives on things or how did you approach life differently back in Australia?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, I think I had a better appreciation for Australia and how lucky we are here and how beautiful our country is and the things that we can. The opportunities that we've got here. So, yeah, just. And that was helpful when I was starting Uni and catching up with my old friends and yeah, I certainly had changed a lot myself. And yeah, I feel like I was more helpful at home. Like, I moved back in with my mum and I was better at looking, helping out and sort of could see things a little bit differently than what I had when I was a teenager and still at school.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. Great.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay, so you decided what you wanted to do for the rest of your life after that then?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

No. Well, so then I'd gotten into Human movement because I love sport and I loved physical activity and, and science of it as well. So I didn't really know what I wanted to do with human movement once I finished. So it has lots of options. So I thought I'll just take it one year at a time. And so that's what I did. And I really enjoyed the course. And by the end of it, I decided that I was wanting to be a high school teacher.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

It was a good start for that.
**Sarah Freeman:**

What made you want to be a high school teacher and not a teacher of receptions?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

That's a good question. My son asked me that the other day, actually. I taught at his school and he's in year three and he said, can you teach year threes tomorrow? I said no. They're too little for me. Well, so when I was in year 10, my youth pastor asked me if I want to be youth leaders, and he saw that leadership potential in me. So I had a number of mentors there that helped me with leadership and mentoring youth. And then I was also coaching volleyball, so I was playing volleyball for the school, and then the teachers asked me if I wanted to coach. So as I was coaching volleyball and running youth group and spending time building relationships with young people, I realized that that's what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Basically work with teenagers and teach them and help them to grow. Yeah. So that. Yeah, having those volunteer opportunities helped me to see what I wanted to be for when I'm. When I was working.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Okay, that's great. So it took a few years of working through the human movement stuff to then take that other path.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah. And human movement was helpful because it meant that I could just do a postgraduate degree in teaching and I could teach PE and outdoor ed because of what I'd done through human movement. And. Yeah, so that's what I. What I do. And then I decided once I started working, that I also wanted to teach maths. So I went back and studied to do math while I was working as well.
**Sarah Freeman:**

There is a special type of people that like to teach maths.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Why did you want to teach maths? You could have taught English or psychology or anything.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Well, yeah, I'd always done really well in maths, and I always found it quite easy, to be honest. So I really enjoyed it. And I hadn't had the opportunity to study it when I was doing human movement. So when I had the opportunity, once I started work, I was already teaching maths from the beginning because they needed maths teachers. And I enjoyed it, but I wanted to get properly qualified to be able to do it well. And yeah, so I studied that when I was working and after I had my first child. And really? Yeah, I really enjoyed studying it as well. So now I can do both. That's good.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay, so you've had your first child, which means you've gotten married. So how did you meet your now husband?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes. So I was living in Aberfoyle Park, and I was trying to get a job there, and I thought I was going to get a job, which I didn't get. And so then I kept looking for other jobs, and then this job in Naracoorte came up and I was like, oh, I don't know if I want to move to Naracoorte. That's A long way away from Adelaide, but it was a good opportunity. So I took this job and then packed up all my stuff, and my mom helped me move, and I got a truck and moved all my stuff up there. And because I was working for the school, they organized a house, a rental for me. And the first night that I moved to Naracoorte, I was invited over to one of the teachers houses. And while I was there, Chris, my husband, my now husband, was there playing games with their son. So the first night I moved to Naracoorte, which I didn't even really know if I wanted to go to, I met Chris when I first moved there. And, yeah, we started dating about a month later and then got married just over a year later.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay, so what was it about him that made you just want to, you know, you didn't want to go to Naracoorte? You're in Naracoorte now and you're at this place, and he's playing games. What was it?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Well, interestingly, I didn't actually notice him that night because I would just move house and I was a bit wrecked, but he remembered me. And then I met him later on that week at church, and he started talking to me like he already knew me. And I was like, oh, who's this guy? Oh, and then I remembered that we'd actually met before, so. And he was the drummer at Max Life, the church that I started going to. And so, yeah, we got to know each other through that pretty quickly.
**Sarah Freeman:**

So you fell in love with the drummer?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, that's right. It was pretty cool.
**Sarah Freeman:**

How did he propose to you and all that stuff?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So my friends from Adelaide who went to my church and were like my youth group leaders, they owned a houseboat up on the river, and they used to take me up there all the time and taught me how to water ski. And we went up there for a weekend, and I took Chris as well, and he'd gotten to know them really well as well. And while we were there, the guy that owned the houseboat pretended that all the electricity had gone off. And so we all had to. Everyone got off of the houseboat, and while he was trying to fix it, and while he did that, Chris and I went onto the top of the houseboat, onto the roof, and Chris had set up some lights that said, will you marry me? Or I love you or something, which automatically turned on when we walked up there. No. And, yeah, so he proposed on the river, on the houseboat, and I said yes. And yeah, it was very exciting.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Nice work.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Good job to Chris, well done. And to his mate.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah, good collaboration.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, he had to ask my mum and my dad's permission and then he had to ask my youth leaders to organize this as well before he could ask me.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah, yeah, great.
**Sarah Freeman:**

How special.
**Matthew Carratt:**

That's a good story. Well, we've got more of your story to come, so stay tuned. This is Life Bursts with Sarah and Matt.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Welcome back to Life Bursts, I'm Sarah.
**Matthew Carratt:**

And I'm Matt and we're hearing Jacqui's story. Jacqui, you have met your husband. He's proposed beautifully.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Sorry, that was my question. Don't ask my question. Sarah's got a question for you. Okay. The marriage, the ceremony, the wedding, what did that look like? Because if he'd done the lights and had everybody off the houseboat for your engagement, I'm sure your wedding was somewhat similar of excitement.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, yes, he's very good at organizing events. So yes, we had a big wedding in April in the school holidays and we got married at Port Elliot at the Soldiers War Memorial Gardens, if you've ever been there. Overlooks the sea and it's beautiful spot. And then had our reception at Victor Harbour Golf course. So yeah, all down there and yeah, I had my four bridesmaids, my two sisters and my two best friends. And yeah, it was just the best day. It was beautiful.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Nice big white dress like Cinderella.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, definitely.
**Sarah Freeman:**

I got that feeling from you.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Nice. So you've moved on from there, you went back to Naracoorte, you got back to teaching?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, that's right.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah.
**Sarah Freeman:**

The honeymoon was over.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Oh, of course you probably after Thailand.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. But there came a time where you felt like you needed to move on.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, my contract had ended at the high school and I wasn't able to get another one. So I was really disappointed because we were still in Naracoorte and I needed work. Chris was working at the time as a builder. And yeah, I certainly felt upset about that. But I can see now looking back that God had other plans for us. So I got a job at Kingston, which was a long drive from Naracoorte, but I had some friends that had a house there that they let me stay in, which was beautiful and it was a really good job and I really enjoyed that. So I did that for a term and that was just returned. Then I worked at Mount Gambier High School for a term and again I found managed to find some friends to stay with down there so I didn't have to travel back and forth every day. And then because I didn't have a contract, I was able to take term three off and Chris was able to get the term off from his work as well. And we were able to move over to Mount Hotham and we lived in Dinner Plain up there. And I worked as a ski instructor, which was a goal of mine that I always wanted to try and wanted to see what it was like. So that's when we had the opportunity to do that. And Chris worked as a photographer and Nikki and Josh, my sister, they were living in Bright, so we were able to see them quite often as well. And they had their first child while we were there, so that was exciting as well, that we could be there for that. And then we moved back to Naracoorte for term four and then I got some more work and then we moved to Adelaide after that.
**Matthew Carratt:**

All right, so a big move to move then to Adelaide. Your husband as well?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes. So I'd convinced him that being a teacher was a good job. I think he just liked the holidays. But so he applied for Uni to go and study to be a teacher. And the first time he applied, he didn't get in. But then he applied again the year after. And so we decided that we were going to do it no matter what. So we moved to Adelaide. We packed up everything and I didn't have work, but I was looking for work. And then we got the call saying that he did get into the course that he was wanting to do to be able to teach tech. So he needed to do an education degree in order to be a tech teacher. And so we had a friend from church that actually helped him write some, like a resume sort of thing to get into Uni. And he went to Uni at Mawson Lake. So we lived north of Adelaide. And yeah, I got work at Sacred Heart for a while, which was near Glenelg, which I really enjoyed, but it was a long drive from north of Adelaide. And then the year after that, I got a job at Tyndale Christian School, which is where I'm still working now, actually, 10 years later, on and off. But, yeah, so, yeah, it's amazing to see how God provided work for me and provided Chris with his Uni course. And when things didn't go the way we hoped, we can look back and see that actually it turned out a lot better than what we thought it would or what we had originally planned for things to happen.
**Sarah Freeman:**

You just get these moments in people's stories and you just like, yeah, you can really see how that all has just unfolded in that way. And even though you had this plan and you thought that's how it was going to be. It didn't end up working out how you wanted it to, but it sounded a lot better the way that you.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And it still takes time to, you know, deal with disappointments when they occur and get away through that. But through that I've grown closer to God as well and, and grown in more trust in him through those difficult situations. And then when things like that come up or different things now I know that I can trust him and that he's got it under control. And even if it's not turning out the way that I had planned, often I can look back and see that things turned out better than what I'd planned when I continue to lean on him and trust in Him. And I believe that he's got the right plan for me and our family.
**Sarah Freeman:**

So who is God to you then?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So I believe that God sent Jesus his son to earth so that we can know him and so that he could die on the cross to save us from our sins, so that we can come into relationship with God, who I believe created the world and created all of us. And all the good things that we see, I believe have come from God and they're blessings that he's given us. And it's sometimes hard to see those things, but when we focus on them, I realize that that must have come from God because it's too amazing to just be random.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Interesting.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. So, yeah, that, that aspect of your life, you've been. You've been teaching, you're continuing to teach, but at some point, did you have to put a pause on that with the family?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah. Yep. So I had Levi eight years ago, and so I took time off when I had him and then I had Jasmine two years later. And so I've done some contracts at Tyndale and I've done some relief teaching. And then we had Ella two years later in 2020, and then Patrick two years ago. So we've had four children within six years. And so, yeah, I've been able to go back to work and do some teaching in between that. And we also worked at Enfield Baptist Church as the youth pastors on and off for about seven or eight years. Chris and I did that together even when we had children, although not now that we have four.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yes. Okay, that's, that's. So that's something that you would do outside of work. So it's obviously something that you're passionate about. What made you passionate about being and. Well, first of all, what is a youth pastor and what has made you so passionate about it?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So we, I guess, look after the youth at the church and we look for opportunities to meet other youth and just mentor them and. Yeah, be a positive role model in their lives, encourage them and help them with whatever they need. Mostly we were organizing activities and fun things that they could do where they hang out together and get to know different people and. Yeah. Try to be like a family and. Yeah, so we did that for quite a number of years. We haven't done it the last two years, but Chris and I both worked in that area for a long time.
**Matthew Carratt:**

So what you're saying there for a season there, you were working through the week looking after teenagers as a teacher and then you were going out on Friday night and hanging out with teenagers again?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And often taking our kids through which they really loved.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. There must be a definite underlying passion.
**Sarah Freeman:**

There of teenagers getting that. I'm getting that, too. We'll be back with more here on Life Bursts with Matt and Sarah straight after this.
**Matthew Carratt:**

This is Life Bursts. I'm Matt.
**Sarah Freeman:**

And I'm Sarah. Today we are chatting with Jacqui. She's been sharing so much about her life with us, and it's really good that you can come along on the journey with us as we are listening to Jacqui's story from where life started out for her to. Well, we haven't quite got to where she is now, but we're kind of still in the in between part. Jacqui, you have mentioned that you do love teenagers and you've mentioned about how life has changed since having children, but how really has life changed now that you have four children? Talk us through that.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Oh, yes, That's a big question, isn't it?
**Sarah Freeman:**

It is a big question. You take it any way you want to take it.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Hasn't it changed?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Okay.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Well, there we go.
**Sarah Freeman:**

How hasn't it changed?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

It's probably changed in every single way, but it's happened so slowly. It's hard to see exactly where it's changed. You know what I mean? Like how when kids, when you see kids, every day they look the same, but when you don't see them for a long time, you're like, wow, you've grown so much. It's kind of like that with kids. Yeah. So, yeah, every day looks different and you never know quite what you're going to get. But yeah, again, it doesn't matter how organized I feel like I am. Things could change at the last minute and you just have to work with it and you think that you've got something worked out and then they want to do something different.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Do you have a piece of advice for mums out there who might be managing?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Look after yourself? Yeah, yeah. So when a few years ago, my grandpa died and he gave out some money to his grandchildren, which was an amazing blessing. And with that money we were able to buy a spa, an outdoor spa. And over the last couple of years, that's been my saving grace in some ways. Just giving me the chance to relax after the kids have been in bed and just to calm down and it's good. Yeah, good way to relax. So that. And also trying to get some exercise every day, which can be difficult to fit in and taking that time out. Definitely what has helped me survive the last, especially the last couple of years have been more difficult with four children. My three youngest ones have all been at home with my second daughter. She just started school this year. So, yeah, the last two years have been very busy with a newborn and then two other ones at home as well. So, yeah, having the opportunity just to take time away from the children and relax has made things. Yeah. Help me to survive, really, and thrive as well. Not just survive, which has been really amazing.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah, no, well done. It is, you know, seeing my own family and other mums wrestle with being home and wanting to work and all of those things, it's. Looking after yourself is really important and having. Having that support. Yeah.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, that's right.
**Sarah Freeman:**

So we're skiing and all of this. Where's the snow? And all of this. We haven't heard about the snow.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, well, I haven't. I haven't skied well for a few years since having children. I've skied once after having my second, but not since then. But my sister's moved back to the snow again, so they've always loved the snow as well. And our plan would be, is that we will take a year or a term, hopefully a year, and go and live near them, near Jindabyne, teach our kids all how to ski and spend a whole season there where they can learn about the mountain and how to ski and go to school there. And, yeah, that's our plan in the next. Maybe within the next five years when our youngest is at school. That would work well. I think it'll be really big adventure for our family, but good way to see my sister and her kids and her husband and for my kids and their cousins to spend more time together as well. So we've been going over there in January, but we haven't been there for the snow yet, so hopefully we'll get there for the snow soon. But also. Yeah, hoping to spend a whole year with them over there as well.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Because you don't get the indoor ski slope for your kids to upskill while they're here.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Exactly. It's unfortunate. And I don't even know where you'd find one. I don't even think Melbourne's got one.
**Matthew Carratt:**

That's great.
**Sarah Freeman:**

So what's it like having now two of your kids at school? What does life look like now?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, it's great. Just taking two out in the morning instead of taking three out is a big difference. But, yeah, it's only been the first week, so. Still getting used to it. Yeah, no, they. And thankfully both of my older two love school. I said to my daughter, you can have the day off today if you're tired from your first week. And she's like, no, no, I don't want to miss any school. I've got to finish my project and I want to see my friends and my teacher will miss me if I'm not there. So it's great. They're really enjoying going to Torrens Valley and that's where my husband works as well. So that's a nice community that they're a part of. They're really growing in their faith and in every area of life. So, yeah, it's really exciting.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yes. Tell us about your husband. Last we heard about him, he was going and getting teaching degree.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Oh, yeah? Yeah. So he became a teacher. He did really well in studies, which neither of us really expected, to be honest. But he. And then when he finished his degree, he got a permanent teaching position at Torrens Valley Christian School in his first year, which is very difficult to get. And he's been there now for seven or eight years. And yeah, our kids are now there and he's got a great job and he really loves it. He's teaching tech, so it's building and he can still do building work at our house when he has time and for friends and that sort of thing. So, yes, it's really good. And I'm planning to. I've actually had some work there this week as a relief teacher. So I'm planning to get some more work at their school as well and be more part of their community with the kids and. And with him at their school. So, yeah, it's great.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Excellent. Well, we will head to a break here on Life Bursts. We are chatting with Jacqui. This is Life Bursts with Matt and Sarah. We'll be back straight after this.
**Matthew Carratt:**

This is Life Bursts with Sarah and Matt. We're chatting to Jacqui. And Jacqui, you've got four children. I've got four of my own as well. But as the mum in particular, you're home there and I know you've even got one sleeping. As we do this interview as well, what are some of your best tips or advice that you've discovered? Work for you to parent?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Well, yeah, so when my son was, my oldest son was 4, we did a parenting course. My husband and I did it together, which was really helpful and there was lots of tools that, that they gave us that were helpful. And the most important one we've found that's been helpful is a tool called mind, body and soul time. We call it quality time in our house. So the idea is that every child gets to have 10 minutes of quality time with each parent every day and they get to choose what the activity is that we do together. And so like with my oldest son, we'll often keep the soccer ball or play chess or. And with my daughter, sometimes it's just tickle time or reading a book, but they get to choose the activity and they know that they've got 10 minutes with mum or 10 minutes with dad where they're not meant to be interrupted and they've got time and it gives them time to talk to us about their day and just have fun together and build our relationship. And we found that since starting it, it's really helped with behaviour management, if you want to call it that. The kids actually listen to us more and respect us more because we've spent that quality time where they've been in control and they've had the opportunity to tell us what they want to do. And so that was just one of the tools that we found really valuable in our parenting journey, I guess. And there's lots of books and there's lots of courses and yeah, I'd certainly encourage people to look out for those sorts of things and make them work for your own family. But yeah, that's one of the ones that we found really helpful.
**Matthew Carratt:**

How did you go implementing that 10 minute thing? I mean, four kids, that's 40 minutes each. Did it take a while to get into the groove of actually we can do this and, and it's worthwhile?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah. When we started it, we didn't have four kids, so that was probably good. So we got into the routine of it early on and now they basically, they ask for it. They're like, you haven't played a game with me, you haven't done quality times and then. But we tried to do it at the same time every day and obviously that doesn't always work out because we have different things on. But. And sometimes it's at the end of the day we're putting them to bed and we'll spend some quality time then if we have. If we've left it to the last minute. But yeah, and it's difficult to do every day, but that is our goal and we do find it's really valuable for our relationships and. Yeah, and when you've got four kids, it's easy for one to feel left out. So this way, hopefully they don't feel left out very often.
**Sarah Freeman:**

I was going to say, it just sounds so perfect on paper. But how do you do it every single day? And how do you tell the kids if you can't do it one particular day? How do you tell them that?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, well, sometimes that's the case and we'll say, I'm really sorry we can't do this today. We. I love this time with you. I really want to spend this time with you, but I'm away or whatever. We haven't had time today, so maybe we could do something a bit more tomorrow. And yeah, try to make it 15 minutes or a bit longer the next day. And yeah, certainly talking to my children about it and explaining to them how important it is to me, because it's important to them as well. Makes a big difference.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Excellent. Yeah, great. It's always good to hear tips like that and parents trying things and working with them. So, yeah, great one to pass on to Owen.
**Sarah Freeman:**

And so with four kids and a husband who's working and you're partly working as well, how do you keep the household in some type of order because you have four children.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yes, my husband is very helpful. He's very good around the house and. But yeah, sometimes it's not. It's just that trying to get into a routine helps and trying to get the kids to help out with some of the small things that they can do, like putting the washing in the washing machine and they can turn the washing on now or unstacking the dishwasher. Sometimes it takes longer to get them to help than it does actually do it myself. But in the long run it is valuable and it's good for them as well to be helping as much as we can. So, yeah, before they get to any screen time, they have to do those things and that usually works well with them.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Are there any key tools or materials that you use to be able to do all of this. Like, do you have whiteboards or diaries or a paper or.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, how I use my phone and so I put all of my key dates in there. And once a week on a Sunday, we have a. We have a family meeting which we call family fun time. And in that meeting we discuss what we're doing for the week. And everyone has to go around and say something nice to someone else, like a thank you or say something encouraging to each person. And then we have a special treat and play a game or sing a song or say a prayer together. And so that's a good way for the kids to know what's happening in the week and to be prepared themselves for what's going on. And yeah, they really enjoy having family fun time every week.
**Matthew Carratt:**

That's a great, great word for meeting. We should have more fun.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Whenever we meet for a Life Bursts meeting, it's just gonna be like Life Bursts fun time. Now this sounds really weird coming from.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Adults, but anyway, no, that's an excellent. So great tip.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Have a good snack.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. And what are the range, age ranges of your children at the moment?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So I've got 2, 3, 5 and 7.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah, yeah. So constantly changing and adjusting and pivoting as things change.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, that's right. You think you've got assorted and then they change.
**Matthew Carratt:**

I understand, I understand, yeah.
**Sarah Freeman:**

And what type of activities do you get up to outside of working and looking after your family?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

So I'm a part of a Bible study group with some other mums at my church, which is a really good way of connecting with them. I go to the gym, so I try to go there at least once a week, but sometimes more just for exercise. And then if I can't fit anything else in, usually I'll. Once the kids are in bed, I'll go for a. A quick half an hour walk around the block just to clear my head and get a bit of exercise myself. And that. Yeah, that definitely makes a big difference to my mental health as well as my physical health when I can do some of those things.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yeah. And why is a Bible study important to you? And what is a Bible study?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, so just when we catch up with a couple of other mums in the evenings once a fortnight, and we might look at a Bible verse and discuss it and talk about how it might apply to our lives and we can pray for each other and talk about whatever's going on and. Yeah, just support each other in that way as well. It's really it's been really helpful and encouraging for me. Yeah, a good chance to just go deeper with people and understand them better as well.
**Matthew Carratt:**

So you're not walking this alone as a parent, as a mother?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. It's easy to feel alone, especially when I'm not working. I'm at home with the kids. So, yeah, it's important to have those opportunities without the kids around as well, to talk with other adults.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yeah. Do you have any encouragement? There might be some parents that are listening right now who might be finding it hard to take that first step or not sure what to do, you know, because they have all their children around them all the time, you know, Is there some encouragement you could share with them today?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, yeah, it certainly can be difficult, even joining a playgroup. I went to a new playgroup this week for the first time and I did enjoy it, but it's still exhausting because you're constantly watching your children and you're also trying to have conversations with adults and make new friends, people that you didn't know before. So it is hard and it can be tiring. But, yeah, putting in the effort when you've got the energy, it always brings about good rewards in the future. And, yeah, it can be hard to start with, but it always, I've found in the past has. Has been fruitful in the. As the time has gone on. Yeah.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Great.
**Sarah Freeman:**

That's good.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Well, thanks for sharing. There's a lot you've shared. There's a lot you've done in your life and continue to do. If you, looking back at all you've been through, if you were to offer one piece of advice to whoever's watching or listening today, what would that advice be?
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Yeah, take every opportunity that comes. I mean, it doesn't mean saying yes to everything, but, yeah, trying to. Yeah. When opportunities come that you might be afraid to do, don't say no just because you're afraid, basically. So, like, even for this interview, I was nervous about it and. But, like, I felt like it was the right thing and that God wanted me to do it. So, yeah, gave me opportunity to trust in him and, yeah, believe that he will be able to work through me and help me with it.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Great.
**Sarah Freeman:**

There we go.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. Well, I'm sure your story and your words of encouragement and even your tips will be of benefit for a whole lot of others who are joining us today. So thank you. Thank you for sharing.
**Jacqui Martyn:**

Thank you.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yes. Thank you, Jacqui, for joining us today here on Life Bursts. I am Sarah and I'm Matt.
**Matthew Carratt:**

You can catch Life Bursts on YouTube, you can catch us on podcasts, you can catch us on various radio stations and community tv. So wherever you found us today, we're really, really glad you could join us and look out for other episodes.
**Sarah Freeman:**

Yes. And if you would love to be interviewed on Life Bursts, just get in contact with us using the information in the description online. And yeah, we'd love to have a chat with you to share your story, because everybody's got a story to share. And it was really great to hear a burst of Jacqui's life today here on Life Bursts.
**Matthew Carratt:**

Yeah. Thanks again, Jacqui. 
**Voice-Over:**

Life Bursts is hosted by Matthew Carratt and Sarah Freeman with production by Rhys Jarrett and Keykhosrow Azadegan. For more episodes of Life Bursts, go to https://rawcut.au, this is a RawCut Production.